Silent Tears of a Sky Goddess
by paynesgrey
Summary: Sesshoumaru's father gives it all up for his mortal woman and says goodbye. Sesshoumaru's parents, Izayoi Pre-series. ONE-SHOT.


Silent Tears of a Sky Goddess

He cannot accept his father's choice, nor can he tolerate his mother's pain. He knows she's hurting. Youkai may not experience emotions in the same vein as humans, but it would be ridiculous for his mother to remain cold and unfeeling while his father chooses the life of a mortal over his youkai family.

First, Sesshoumaru appeals to his father. He approaches him with his mother's face in mind (cold and placid, but her eyes vibrate with anger and betrayal). His father is looking over the lands of his human mistress, and the moon is large and red in the sky above them.

"I know why you are here, my son," his father says as Sesshoumaru's feet pause behind him. His fingers itch at his side, and he can feel the heat from his sword. He's imagined it so many times - to take off his father's head and watch it fall to the ground and paint the snow crimson with similar blood. His fingers relax, and he calms the beast that wants to leap out of this odious human form.

"I do not understand why you are doing this. I could kill your woman," Sesshoumaru says, confusion and anger so prevalent in his tone. His father pays him no mind. Instead, he turns around and smiles confidently.

"One day you will know what it is like to find someone as I have, to want to protect and love them from all the perils of the world."

Sesshoumaru cocks his head and furrows his brow. He cannot imagine it.

"It is in your blood, my son," he says, and his words are calm yet they grate on Sesshoumaru's nerves. He hopes his father's words never come to pass. No, he will make sure of it. He has his mother in mind and he will be more like her.

"Mother is upset. You have betrayed her." The wind suddenly feels colder against his skin as his father stares at him, still smiling. "You have betrayed _us_."

"Make no mistake, Sesshoumaru. I still love your mother. I was born to love her," he says, and the wind is shifting under their feet as his father prepares to transform.

"You need to inform her of this, not me," Sesshoumaru chides. Why does he feel like the wise one, but his father, though foolish to consort with humans, still remains eons above him?

"I plan it, Sesshoumaru." He turns his face to the darkest clouds in the sky. "I must say farewell." Sesshoumaru feels his blood stall for a moment. War is rising between the humans, and his father's mistress is in the thicket. He doesn't know if he'll ever see his father again, but in his face, in his words, Sesshoumaru feels that this is the absolute truth.

He blinks and he feels the surge of power, and his father has ascended to the sky. Sesshoumaru desires to follow him, to make sure he's by his mother's side. Instead, he glares at his father as he disappears within the thunder and lightning of the approaching storm.

ooooo

"Your champion has come to judge me, my lady," he says as he walks toward her throne with bright golden eyes. "But I know you did not send him."

She scoffs. She frowns immediately at his presence, and she rests her head against her hand. "I suspected you would have been gone by now, disappeared into the wild with your harlot human."

"No need to be petty, my dear," he says, shaking his head.

"I deserve it, though I suppose, it does not become me," she says with light humor, but her face remains like ice, resisting any smile that would slip. Momentarily, they stare at each other, and they both revel in personal memory. Finally, the Lady of the West says, "This is goodbye, am I correct?"

"Madam, I leave you with this castle and all my lands. I am rescinding it," he says, and he starts to sound different to her, not like the man she married, not like the man who is Sesshoumaru's father. He's giving up everything for _her_, and she sees how human he has become, even though his blood still runs with the ancient force of their kind. She knows she's lost him years ago, but she's no doubt aware of her own anxiety. The humans would probably say she is sad, though she still longs for him, and she does not want to rule this kingdom without him.

"I will stay in the sky," she says, her voice shaking slightly before she composes herself. She lifts her chin. "I care not about what the humans do on earth. Our son can be the master of that."

He nods with a low bow, but when he meets her eyes again memories flood over her. She refuses to adopt the same small emotions of humans that he has, but she does not deny that she will miss him, that she treasures him still.

"Please rethink your choice," she says. It is her last attempt to keep him, to possess him as he is meant to be hers.

He approaches her, and she goes rigid in her throne. He reaches a hand forward and cups her face. "My mate, my love, you are above any youkai woman to ever exist. Your loyalty to me, despite all I have done to you, is superior beyond anything I deserve."

Her hand covers his and she keeps his gaze. "You are cruel to say that now, my love." He laughs. "So, you choose her over me, over this?" She doesn't need his answer; she can see it in his eyes. "Then go. Do as you will; you still rule this land until you die."

He pulls his hand away and already she misses his warmth. "Please, take care of our kingdom. Do not let Sesshoumaru lose his way. Give him the inheritance I bid him when he is worthy."

She folds her arms in her lap and sighs. "He will become like you, but it will not be easy for him."

"It is fortunate that he will have your support," he says finally, and he leans down quickly and kisses her. It's strange, she thinks, to feel such a gesture, when he belongs to someone else, and with such subsiding tension. Still, it relaxes her and warms her aching blood.

She watches him leave, and he does not turn around. He is leaving it all behind, for good - a life that she wonders if he might not have want anyway. Curse the humans for taking him, but she will not do anything. She will not even seek revenge on the woman who has stolen him.

It is not her way, and it would not amuse her.

"You are still a fool, my love," she says quietly, but he is already gone. She closes his eyes and searches for the mating link she has with him. Sometimes the sensations are overwhelming, but she does not mind it now. She will be with him - when he makes love to his new woman, and even when he takes his last breath.

She will know tears for the first time, but her son, her kingdom will not see it. When her husband is finally gone, it will rain for many days, and soon things will grow anew. Finally, she will wait for her son to return home.

Until then she will hope, against her promise to her Lord, that her son will never follow in his father's life.

END


End file.
